So last night we had an earthquake; shortly thereafter, several people put posts up on facebook about it. A pastor i know asked the question: what if that earthquake was the rapture? It came unexpectedly and shook everyone. Where would you be if it HAD been the rapture or that was your last moment on earth?

I thought about it and it was a jarring thought. Now i’m Christian. I believe in Jesus Christ as my only Lord and savior. I do my best to confess my sins, walk in humility serving and honoring God, all the while depending on his grace. I honor righteousness and believe in the holiness of God.

Anyway, i went to sleep and had a dream… In this rodiculously vivid dream, the earthquake was indeed a rapture of sorts. Either that or i had somehow died in my sleep. All i knew was that i wasn’t on earth anymore but in a different world. All i could see was a long line of people with me at the tail end of it. Ahead of me i saw a great towering individual with a book in his hands. As each person got to him, it was unclear if he spoke; but he did look at the book, checked whatever was in it regarding the individual before him, and then pointed either upward or downward. When he pointed upward, a warm bright light enveloped the individual and they disappeared very joyfully. When he pointed downward, lightning and thunder crashed, the ground opened, smoke and screams emanated and the person was dragged down without hope of escape.

As far as i could understand, this was serious! Of what i know, this had to be judgement. This place had no route of escape. This had to be the place of decision where folks ultimately found out if they’d be going to heaven or hell. Going up or down! For ETERNITY!!!

Oh my God! … It began to dawn on me… I began to realize where i was and the fact that my own life was about to be assessed and judged as well! A deep, irrevocable fear suddenly crept unto me. I couldn’t shake it off. My whole body was in tremors and i barely had control of my knees. But why was i so afraid??

I’m saved right?… Right?!

Wait, i’ve given my life to Christ and he’s forgiven me right?

Wait, if this is it, then that means i’m not going back home. Already, i couldn’t recognize anyone so this was an individual thing. None of my family were here. My husband was nowhere to be found.. I was alone! Oh God! Fear..fear…fear…

But wait! I’m a Christian… I looked crazy cos i started talking to myself…

But no one seemed to notice. They were either worried too, completely calm, or oblivious to what was going on.

I reminded myself i’m a worshiper, i love God. I’m Christian.

But then i remembered how the very night before, i’d gone to sleep a bit upset because my husband and i talked about a few people who had hurt me terribly, and especially one individual who simple conversation about would trigger negative feelings in me, and i’d wish oblivion upon. I had not truly forgiven this person for their wicked behavior towards me in the past which had affected both myself and my entire family.

I also remembered how i knew of “little” besetting sins in my life of short-temperedness, irritability, anger, slight pride when wanting my own way, so much so much… Even finally, doubt! Doubt!! I didn’t believe that i was truly saved! But how was that possible? I tried to pray the sinner’s prayer at that point to believe that Jesus could save me from all those little sins. I wanted to hope that if i prayed now, those sins could be forgiven here that i’d failed to address on earth. But i couldn’t. My mind, heart and mouth could not formulate a prayer. I was a mess… So afraid and the line was dwindling before me. I was third to the front of the line now.

Oh God, what is my fate?! Jesus save me… Oh God, it’s too late. It hit me that my last act on earth was the “period” to my life on earth. I hadn’t prayed; didn’t expect i’d be dead the next day! Didn’t forgive those people… Didn’t ask God for forgiveness in days with multiple misbehaviors… Oh my God!

I was next… That was it. My life was over. Here came eternity… Heaven or hell??!! Oh Jesus! I wish i was sure! I wish i hadn’t held on to those things… I wish i had give. myself fully. I wish i had let go… What could i do now. I wanted to think yeah, i’d go to heaven… But somewhere i knew my religion wasn’t as genuine as it could have been. I could have done better. I deserved hell… Somehow i knew that’s where i was going in that place at that time… But for eternity..?! No more hope. No more chances; no hope for change. It’d be over forever. I had failed. A few years of not doing what i should…a few offenses would cost me my eternal life… It wasn’t worth it… It wasn’t.

Tears began running down my face uncontrollably… I knew my fate and what i deserved… It was over. I stood before the man… I didn’t even know what the fate of the lady ahead of me was… Couldn’t remember if she went up or down and it didn’t matter to me. That was her business… What was my business now? I was broken… I couldn’t speak…

I looked up… And then all of a sudden, the loudest alarm i’ve ever heard blared in that place. I looked around and everything disappeared. It was all gone. Nothing happened anymore. I was back home. It was over… What had just happened? Whatever it was, i was awake! I was neither in heaven nor hell. The man hadn’t pointed… I woke up! Oh God…. My heart was beating so fast…

But i was back home! It was a dream! And me being awake now was not a dream! Oh my God! I had another chance! It was unbelievable. It had been too real! I wish someone else knew or could have felt how real it was! Oh Jesus…

I immediately began speaking to God in prayer asking for his mercy and forgiveness. I began declaring how much i forgave everyone who’d ever hurt me. How i let go of it all. Told God how much i need Him and begged him to cleanse me of all my sin again, afresh, and write my name in the lamb’s book of life. Everything seemed so irrelevant now apart from my salvation, God and my standing with Him. No one could understand the depth of fear i had just felt in moments of thinking it was over for me…thinking my eternity was about to commence WITHOUT God & Christ’s salvation…

I couldn’t stop thanking God i was back; back to now. Back to choice…back to this moment where i still had a say amd could make the decision that would GUARANTEE me eternal life with Christ in heaven not hell…

That’s my story; that’s literally what happened to me. It was real. It wasn’t fiction. But i got the chance to wake up.

What would have taken me to hell would have been unforgiveness, pain, anger, irritability, doubt! It wasn’t worth it. It REALLY is not worth it. That was me…

What would put you in hell if it had been you and you hadn’t woken up from that place of decision?

God bless you and i love you; God loves you more.

Tomi Favored